Thursday, 20 June 2013

Caving at camp

Camp day 3

I am in a cave it is wet and muddy so the mud is  really squidgy
in the onepoto caves. In this cave we have to turn our light off so it is really dark. There are raindrop falling from the ceiling and then  going spat on my raincoat. I am at the back with Tracey , Marcus , me, and Mrs H.  We are the last ones so in the caves it is more challenging because the people that were in front had wet slippery shoes that had made rock all slippery But I didn't care I was happy to be caving. I can just see a tiny glimpse of light coming from end of the cave. I feel something squidgy I think it is mud  Then I get woof of smelly mud up my nose. “POO” I say to Tracey this mud smell awful  It smells like a dump I kept walking a turn a corner and  Then I see the end of the cave this time we have to get up to get out  I clamber out into the fresh air  I turn around and grab Tracey's hand  and pull her up then me and Tracey help Mrs H up we come to our last cave we go in it is a bit skinny  David is singing  and Tracey doesn't like it finally we were walking then I see what we have  to do we have to walk around the outside of a rock while holding onto a pole going around the rim  of the rock once I get to the bottom I smell a horrible smell it is like a truck full of  cow poo but worst then I see it it is a huge puddle of water it looks disgusting. Then I saw how I can get over without stepping in it. It was really narrow so I could lean against the wall so I do it I am halfway across and then “HURRY UP THE WHOLE CLASS IS OUT HERE IN THE RAIN, FREEZING HURRY UP !!!” Jason yells I get such a fright I fall right into the smelly mud so I and even more wet and worse I smell so I hurry up to the end I can’t wait till I go back to camp and have a shower because I and FREEZING!!!


  1. Hi Bree- amazing descriptive story- very sensory. After reading your cool account of caving I could imagine being in the cave myself, smelling the stinky mud and wanting to be in a hot shower! Sounds like camp was awesome- Ka Mau te wehi!!!

  2. Your writing really meets the signs of success, Bree!

    You use your senses so well, have written in the present tense and it has strong verbs and other descriptive language.

    It is also neat to hear you read it so expressively!

  3. Awesome work Bree,
    I like how you have written it in present tense.
    Great job.
    Cool photos too.
    I like how you said, I am in a cave it is wet and muddy so the mud is really squidgy.

  4. Your writing is great it is fantastic good work Bree that must of been a tough thing to do wow.
    The wet and muddy stuff you said that would be really disgusting. :)

  5. Wow Bree I like the photos you put on
    Keep it up!

  6. Awesome Bree your audio is really clear
    I like your photos
    Well Done

  7. Awesome Bree I really really liked it all
    Keep it up


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